Cruel Model Myths

cruel_model_myths
It has come to my attention, that models are taking some serious punches. Having been a model myself, back in the day, I would like to address the three most common myths and cruel stereotypes about models that are perpetuated by ugly and ordinary people, because I don’t expect that an “International Pretty People’s Parade”, or “World Model Day” – that could clarify matters – is coming up any time soon, which is a shame, if you ask me.

 

MYTH no. 1: ALL MODELS ARE STUPID

Ugly and ordinary people (UAOP), which constitutes combined, roughly, 99.9% of the world’s population, seem to fancy the notion that all models are arse clowns who have checked their brain matter at the front counter of Chanel and spend their days parading about, inhaling pink oxygen, drinking latte, snorting niche perfume and buying $400 heels, that is when they are not busy updating their social media accounts with swimsuit images and broadcasting when something LOL happens to them.

I don’t see the problem. There’s nothing wrong with fulfilling your true potential. Thankfully, the internet makes this much easier and faster for everyone. There’s no point in being hot if there’s nobody to witness it. It’s as dumb as thinking about sex but not having any. Marketing yourself is the most important part of having a successful career in anything, except, perhaps in biochemistry, proctology and mechanical engineering. But we can’t all be biochemists, proctologists and mechanical engineers. That would be too boring. And who would model the swimsuits?

If you think you have what it takes to be a tennis or football star, then you need to buy the racket and the ball to play the game. Modeling is much the same, you need the equipment to play the game. Shopping in high heels is mandatory. When else would you practice your cat-walk? Ugly people just don’t understand how the modeling industry works.

Ugly people talk about models like they are a wall of dim-wits. It’s typical to pick on minorities. There’s a proportional load of slow people in the 99.9% group too, I am here to tell you. But you don’t see models having issues with that. They just lower their expectations and move on. Ugly people should do the same and go back to focusing on their own limitations.

And what’s wrong with saving a few keystrokes anyway? The ugly people are just bitterly jealous because nothing remotely LOL ever happens to them.

 

MYTH no. 2: ALL MODELS HAVE EATING DISORDERS

That’s just plain ridiculous. How can you have an eating disorder if you don’t even eat? It’s like claiming you have a personality disorder when you don’t have a personality. Plain stupid.

Logic trumps again.

Besides, plus size models are the fastest growing group in the fashion industry. Because it’s nobody’s fault that more and still more people are exhibiting rumps the size of african bush elephants, unless Mc Donalds has a hand in adding to the deposit, and there has to be role models. I understand it may not be a feature ugly people wish to draw attention to, but dissing thin models does not make an african bush elephant’s rump any smaller. Ugly people will just have to find some other way to make themselves miserable.

Or have an ass lift. Or whatever.

 

MYTH no. 3: MODELS DON’T GET OUT OF BED FOR LESS THAN $10.000

That is entirely untrue and the misconception is based on faulty thinking and wrong facts; a model was totally misquoted for saying that. Just goes to show that ugly people have no sense of humour. Models get IN bed for much less; Successful models are not passive, they are aggressively promoting themselves to as many scouting services, agents and photographers as they possibly can and in the most efficient ways. Professional models understand that this is simply the cost of doing business and it is standard in the industry. So why wouldn’t they get out of bed for more?

Logic trumps again.

 

If you know any other cruel myths about models or other minorities, I’ll be happy to address them.